Life is : a game of bluff

Further to Whats new in JT... YJN

Another character in Kismat Konnection, Shahid Kapur (remember Kareena Kapoor's ex girlfriend ? No ? Even I didn't remember her/him) thinks he is unlucky in everything he does. As it turns out, he was an all rounder of sorts in his academic life and thus had great expectations from himself. Since he fails to measure up to those in practical life, he thinks he is unlucky and can do with some divine help.

Quite a believable character for a hindi film. We could all come up with instances where a promising career in school/college didn't bloom into 'the best' in life. We could also relate to lucky charms helping us with starting on a more confident foot at crucial junctures : the lucky shirt and tie for an interview, lucky pen for an exam or just people lucky to see before you begin your day.

So how are lucky charms connected to self deception and illusions of grandeur ?
I think the two are different means of achieving the same end : confidence. Its strange in itself how we seek this abstract strength from unforeseen places and sources. Whether you go the lucky charm way or the self deception way, you are finding ways to make yourself larger than the disadvantage at hand.

Think of an American Toad - the one which can inflate itself to appear much larger than it actually is. Or even a Cobra (Naag) with a spread hood (Phan - the effect created by likes of Sridevi in hindi movies by arching their hands together above their heads. Pretty lame huh ??) Such animals frighten away their enemies by appearing larger than they are. That's what people are trying to do when they are faced with difficult times or people - appear and feel bigger by imagining chance by their side - in the form of a lucky charm or mounting the horse of their past achievements.

Now back to our dilemma : Shall I be deflating such toads of human beings by puncturing their inflated selves ? In other words, is it wise to tell a person when they are too foolish by relying on a lucky charm or pretentious misgivings about themselves ?
My new answer for myself is : not always.
Its a definite no when you know that the other person is down and out and is clutching onto this misgiving as the only source of going forward, like straw to a drowning man.
So you don't stop a friend going for his 15th job interview in a stained shirt because he thinks its lucky for him.
Nor do you tell your friend if you know she's not as "upwardly mobile" as she says she is because you both know its too far from reality.

As mentioned, its a known medical condition wherein a person has shielded him/her self from facts because the facts ask them to accept defeat. In order to wake up and start their day with a normal person's zeal, they actually should not "wake up and smell the coffee"

But it's a definite yes when it isn't supposed to be a survival contest and the other toad actually uses his bloated size to show off among equals.

Thus, you need to hold a mirror to your friend's lack of fashion sense if he starts lecturing you on yours ! For some people get a confidence boost by crushing others' confidence, any which way.

A slightly more real-life situation : Your friend thinks he "needs" to smoke because it helps him to concentrate or look cool or be successful in what he does. If you think logically, this justification is either an excuse for smoking or in any case is more about getting a confidence boost than a choice of lifestyle.
If you think it does not affect you in any way, fine leave him with his own choice. But if you think it also affects you, either as a passive smoker, as a spouse or as anyone with some stake in his life and heart, you ought to take a hard stand and call his bluff. This one is not about deflating his confidence but more about avoiding collective health loss for just another confidence booster.

I would leave it to the readers' judgement to do this in the most amicable manner as possible.


Its only appropriate to finish off with another, although slightly unrelated, filmy recommendation - Watch 'A Wednesday'. Its very interesting, entertaining and worth a watch. I can count at least five different characters with high levels of confidence based on a variety of beliefs but the one worth watching is Naseeruddin Shah. Any more details could spoil it for you. You might need to avoid watching it with your family as there are some choicest of (very well placed) Hindi expletives which might make it a tad bit uncomfortable for you.