Further to Whats new in JT... YJN
Another character in Kismat Konnection, Shahid Kapur (remember Kareena Kapoor's ex girlfriend ? No ? Even I didn't remember her/him) thinks he is unlucky in everything he does. As it turns out, he was an all rounder of sorts in his academic life and thus had great expectations from himself. Since he fails to measure up to those in practical life, he thinks he is unlucky and can do with some divine help.
Quite a believable character for a hindi film. We could all come up with instances where a promising career in school/college didn't bloom into 'the best' in life. We could also relate to lucky charms helping us with starting on a more confident foot at crucial junctures : the lucky shirt and tie for an interview, lucky pen for an exam or just people lucky to see before you begin your day.
So how are lucky charms connected to self deception and illusions of grandeur ?
I think the two are different means of achieving the same end : confidence. Its strange in itself how we seek this abstract strength from unforeseen places and sources. Whether you go the lucky charm way or the self deception way, you are finding ways to make yourself larger than the disadvantage at hand.
Think of an American Toad - the one which can inflate itself to appear much larger than it actually is. Or even a Cobra (Naag) with a spread hood (Phan - the effect created by likes of Sridevi in hindi movies by arching their hands together above their heads. Pretty lame huh ??) Such animals frighten away their enemies by appearing larger than they are. That's what people are trying to do when they are faced with difficult times or people - appear and feel bigger by imagining chance by their side - in the form of a lucky charm or mounting the horse of their past achievements.
Now back to our dilemma : Shall I be deflating such toads of human beings by puncturing their inflated selves ? In other words, is it wise to tell a person when they are too foolish by relying on a lucky charm or pretentious misgivings about themselves ?
My new answer for myself is : not always.
Its a definite no when you know that the other person is down and out and is clutching onto this misgiving as the only source of going forward, like straw to a drowning man.
So you don't stop a friend going for his 15th job interview in a stained shirt because he thinks its lucky for him.
Nor do you tell your friend if you know she's not as "upwardly mobile" as she says she is because you both know its too far from reality.
As mentioned, its a known medical condition wherein a person has shielded him/her self from facts because the facts ask them to accept defeat. In order to wake up and start their day with a normal person's zeal, they actually should not "wake up and smell the coffee"
But it's a definite yes when it isn't supposed to be a survival contest and the other toad actually uses his bloated size to show off among equals.
Thus, you need to hold a mirror to your friend's lack of fashion sense if he starts lecturing you on yours ! For some people get a confidence boost by crushing others' confidence, any which way.
A slightly more real-life situation : Your friend thinks he "needs" to smoke because it helps him to concentrate or look cool or be successful in what he does. If you think logically, this justification is either an excuse for smoking or in any case is more about getting a confidence boost than a choice of lifestyle.
If you think it does not affect you in any way, fine leave him with his own choice. But if you think it also affects you, either as a passive smoker, as a spouse or as anyone with some stake in his life and heart, you ought to take a hard stand and call his bluff. This one is not about deflating his confidence but more about avoiding collective health loss for just another confidence booster.
I would leave it to the readers' judgement to do this in the most amicable manner as possible.
Its only appropriate to finish off with another, although slightly unrelated, filmy recommendation - Watch 'A Wednesday'. Its very interesting, entertaining and worth a watch. I can count at least five different characters with high levels of confidence based on a variety of beliefs but the one worth watching is Naseeruddin Shah. Any more details could spoil it for you. You might need to avoid watching it with your family as there are some choicest of (very well placed) Hindi expletives which might make it a tad bit uncomfortable for you.
Friday, 1 August 2008
Thursday, 24 July 2008
Whats new in JT... YJN
I do not recall any other Hindi movie which tackles positive illusions as a choice of life, the way its portrayed in Jaane Tu... Ya Jaane Na. Its worth noticing because I think its a very pervasive aspect of every one's life but very rarely brought out in the open, except in extreme cases.
If you have already seen the movie, I am talking about the character of Meghna, Imraan's temporary girl friend. If you haven't, the girl is living in denial of the fact that her parents are actually quite at war with each other. Despite all that happens around her, she chooses to stick to her imaginary happy world where there is romance in everything, just like between her parents.
There are other characters in the movie who have other positive illusions like Ratna Pathak's and her denial of any form of violence in the world especially her son's life which also lead her to have illusions of her dead husband. Interestingly, characters which are most in touch with reality are negative in shade like Paresh Rawal (he knew Imraan had a violent streak to him by his eyes) Aditi's temporary fiance (he was never fooled that Genelia and Imraan were not just friends)
However, I'll stick to Meghna's case because she is the one I would have liked to walk up to and force open her eyes to reality.
She is very much like so many people we know who have chosen to believe what they would like to.
Like every mother believes her son/daughter is the best because she wants him/her to be.
Like almost everyone thinks that theirs is the greatest, noblest community/caste/religion and yet somehow society in general is always tending to reach new moral lows.
Like most women assert that men in general are all "characterless" , except their own boyfriend/husband and their father, their brothers and oh all those uncles. But that particular uncle is definitely on the loose side of a dress called character, just like "all men".
Then there are people who think they've seen it all and done it all and would like to guide you on the simplest of matters. Somehow, they manage to convince themselves that everyone besides them had either appeared on earth as adults or have just come out of a life long confinement, devoid of any experience in life.
Coming back to Meghna, fact of the matter is , she has simply chosen in favour of Optimism except that in her case the alternative was not pessimism but reality. So she either sees what her world actually is, which has crashed beyond her most pessimist expectations, or conjures up a better one. Put this way, the protagonist and the viewer realise that she's not mad. Just unfortunate and knowingly so. And so we decide to leave her in her bliss. This, has been hard for me to do in life.
As I googled out (yes, henceforth don't try and take credit by saying "found out". Everyone knows how you "found out"), there have been researches to suggest that a bitter truth does not always make the best medicine.
I have another character from another recent movie - Kismat Konnection - to highlight this fact.
.... Will continue on this later.
If you have already seen the movie, I am talking about the character of Meghna, Imraan's temporary girl friend. If you haven't, the girl is living in denial of the fact that her parents are actually quite at war with each other. Despite all that happens around her, she chooses to stick to her imaginary happy world where there is romance in everything, just like between her parents.
There are other characters in the movie who have other positive illusions like Ratna Pathak's and her denial of any form of violence in the world especially her son's life which also lead her to have illusions of her dead husband. Interestingly, characters which are most in touch with reality are negative in shade like Paresh Rawal (he knew Imraan had a violent streak to him by his eyes) Aditi's temporary fiance (he was never fooled that Genelia and Imraan were not just friends)
However, I'll stick to Meghna's case because she is the one I would have liked to walk up to and force open her eyes to reality.
She is very much like so many people we know who have chosen to believe what they would like to.
Like every mother believes her son/daughter is the best because she wants him/her to be.
Like almost everyone thinks that theirs is the greatest, noblest community/caste/religion and yet somehow society in general is always tending to reach new moral lows.
Like most women assert that men in general are all "characterless" , except their own boyfriend/husband and their father, their brothers and oh all those uncles. But that particular uncle is definitely on the loose side of a dress called character, just like "all men".
Then there are people who think they've seen it all and done it all and would like to guide you on the simplest of matters. Somehow, they manage to convince themselves that everyone besides them had either appeared on earth as adults or have just come out of a life long confinement, devoid of any experience in life.
Coming back to Meghna, fact of the matter is , she has simply chosen in favour of Optimism except that in her case the alternative was not pessimism but reality. So she either sees what her world actually is, which has crashed beyond her most pessimist expectations, or conjures up a better one. Put this way, the protagonist and the viewer realise that she's not mad. Just unfortunate and knowingly so. And so we decide to leave her in her bliss. This, has been hard for me to do in life.
As I googled out (yes, henceforth don't try and take credit by saying "found out". Everyone knows how you "found out"), there have been researches to suggest that a bitter truth does not always make the best medicine.
I have another character from another recent movie - Kismat Konnection - to highlight this fact.
.... Will continue on this later.
Friday, 17 August 2007
Ranzish hi sahi ....
I know he'll go. I know it for a fact since he came. In fact that's what delayed his entry into my life this time: I couldn't make up my mind if I would be able to take it again.
In time, I agreed, we all agreed - for it had to be a collective decision. We were all signing up for the anguish which can only be delayed or its intensity controlled but never avoided.
My mother was the last one to give in. She had other concerns as well but this has been the major concern - what happens when he goes ??? It has happened earlier , quite a few times, and it has to happen again. Then why ?
As I understand now, my relationship with him is as a poet (Ahmad Faraz ?) has described :
Ranzish hi sahi, Dil hi dukhane ke liye aa
Aa phir se mujhey chhodh ke jaane ke liye aa.
(Animosity if it is, do come to break my heart
Come, if only, so that once again we may part)
Except that, there isn't any animosity or hard feelings amongst us. As far as I can tell, he likes me as much as I do, maybe more. But there is only so much that I can tell , by my own standards i.e.
I think we are his family. We have been around him for as long as time goes back for him. He's suffered, succeeded, moved out and moved back in with us.
In his own ways, he has expressed this many more times than we could - almost every time that my eyes have met his.
He has not just accepted everyone that we have introduced but even ensured that they accept and like him, adore him and change their perspective of him and the likes.
Again, this is what I can tell by my standards. His standards ought to be completely different but I am sure he likes us all by his standards as well. But then, it doesn't matter. Because I love him and his being here is all that matters to me.
I have grown up loving him. More than that - I have evolved loving him.
He was with me when I started making sense of this world.
But then he left. Came again and left again.
Every time he left, I cried and longed for him. I just had to think about him, his eyes, and feel how empty life was without him.
And then he would come back and it would all be the same : our mutual love was everywhere to be seen, as if there wasn't any interlude.
I kept growing older and he kept coming back to me.
As I matured, I learned to assure myself that probably its better for him the way he was when he went. I understood that I cry for myself and my loss, not for him.
I am sad because I have had the pleasure of being with him and that's how its supposed to be - the sea-saw of pain and gain.
Jeenay ke liye, socha hi nahin, Dard sambhaalne hongey
Muskurayein to, muskurane ke karz utarney hongey.
Muskuraun kabhi to lagta hai jaise honthon pe karz rakha hai.
(Never thought life would mean juggling my share of sorrow
....every smile has its own price that you borrow
Now when I smile I know I have a new debt to settle)
So I am trying to be mature, brave.
As I realise its almost time now for him to go on, again, I try to pre-empt the cost of anguish and settle it with the profit of my moments with him.
He can come back again, for sure, but this time there's a catch : Will I be there to receive him ?
My love will always be the same as he is despite different appearances, genders and differently sparkling eyes.
The question is : have I grown too old, too mature for him and his love to return ?
P.S. : This is how I feel about my relationship with my pets. Its my way of accommodating pain of separation in my life. Hope you find helpful hints of doing the same with yours.
In time, I agreed, we all agreed - for it had to be a collective decision. We were all signing up for the anguish which can only be delayed or its intensity controlled but never avoided.
My mother was the last one to give in. She had other concerns as well but this has been the major concern - what happens when he goes ??? It has happened earlier , quite a few times, and it has to happen again. Then why ?
As I understand now, my relationship with him is as a poet (Ahmad Faraz ?) has described :
Ranzish hi sahi, Dil hi dukhane ke liye aa
Aa phir se mujhey chhodh ke jaane ke liye aa.
(Animosity if it is, do come to break my heart
Come, if only, so that once again we may part)
Except that, there isn't any animosity or hard feelings amongst us. As far as I can tell, he likes me as much as I do, maybe more. But there is only so much that I can tell , by my own standards i.e.
I think we are his family. We have been around him for as long as time goes back for him. He's suffered, succeeded, moved out and moved back in with us.
In his own ways, he has expressed this many more times than we could - almost every time that my eyes have met his.
He has not just accepted everyone that we have introduced but even ensured that they accept and like him, adore him and change their perspective of him and the likes.
Again, this is what I can tell by my standards. His standards ought to be completely different but I am sure he likes us all by his standards as well. But then, it doesn't matter. Because I love him and his being here is all that matters to me.
I have grown up loving him. More than that - I have evolved loving him.
He was with me when I started making sense of this world.
But then he left. Came again and left again.
Every time he left, I cried and longed for him. I just had to think about him, his eyes, and feel how empty life was without him.
And then he would come back and it would all be the same : our mutual love was everywhere to be seen, as if there wasn't any interlude.
I kept growing older and he kept coming back to me.
As I matured, I learned to assure myself that probably its better for him the way he was when he went. I understood that I cry for myself and my loss, not for him.
I am sad because I have had the pleasure of being with him and that's how its supposed to be - the sea-saw of pain and gain.
Jeenay ke liye, socha hi nahin, Dard sambhaalne hongey
Muskurayein to, muskurane ke karz utarney hongey.
Muskuraun kabhi to lagta hai jaise honthon pe karz rakha hai.
(Never thought life would mean juggling my share of sorrow
....every smile has its own price that you borrow
Now when I smile I know I have a new debt to settle)
So I am trying to be mature, brave.
As I realise its almost time now for him to go on, again, I try to pre-empt the cost of anguish and settle it with the profit of my moments with him.
He can come back again, for sure, but this time there's a catch : Will I be there to receive him ?
My love will always be the same as he is despite different appearances, genders and differently sparkling eyes.
The question is : have I grown too old, too mature for him and his love to return ?
P.S. : This is how I feel about my relationship with my pets. Its my way of accommodating pain of separation in my life. Hope you find helpful hints of doing the same with yours.
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