Life is : a game of bluff

Further to Whats new in JT... YJN

Another character in Kismat Konnection, Shahid Kapur (remember Kareena Kapoor's ex girlfriend ? No ? Even I didn't remember her/him) thinks he is unlucky in everything he does. As it turns out, he was an all rounder of sorts in his academic life and thus had great expectations from himself. Since he fails to measure up to those in practical life, he thinks he is unlucky and can do with some divine help.

Quite a believable character for a hindi film. We could all come up with instances where a promising career in school/college didn't bloom into 'the best' in life. We could also relate to lucky charms helping us with starting on a more confident foot at crucial junctures : the lucky shirt and tie for an interview, lucky pen for an exam or just people lucky to see before you begin your day.

So how are lucky charms connected to self deception and illusions of grandeur ?
I think the two are different means of achieving the same end : confidence. Its strange in itself how we seek this abstract strength from unforeseen places and sources. Whether you go the lucky charm way or the self deception way, you are finding ways to make yourself larger than the disadvantage at hand.

Think of an American Toad - the one which can inflate itself to appear much larger than it actually is. Or even a Cobra (Naag) with a spread hood (Phan - the effect created by likes of Sridevi in hindi movies by arching their hands together above their heads. Pretty lame huh ??) Such animals frighten away their enemies by appearing larger than they are. That's what people are trying to do when they are faced with difficult times or people - appear and feel bigger by imagining chance by their side - in the form of a lucky charm or mounting the horse of their past achievements.

Now back to our dilemma : Shall I be deflating such toads of human beings by puncturing their inflated selves ? In other words, is it wise to tell a person when they are too foolish by relying on a lucky charm or pretentious misgivings about themselves ?
My new answer for myself is : not always.
Its a definite no when you know that the other person is down and out and is clutching onto this misgiving as the only source of going forward, like straw to a drowning man.
So you don't stop a friend going for his 15th job interview in a stained shirt because he thinks its lucky for him.
Nor do you tell your friend if you know she's not as "upwardly mobile" as she says she is because you both know its too far from reality.

As mentioned, its a known medical condition wherein a person has shielded him/her self from facts because the facts ask them to accept defeat. In order to wake up and start their day with a normal person's zeal, they actually should not "wake up and smell the coffee"

But it's a definite yes when it isn't supposed to be a survival contest and the other toad actually uses his bloated size to show off among equals.

Thus, you need to hold a mirror to your friend's lack of fashion sense if he starts lecturing you on yours ! For some people get a confidence boost by crushing others' confidence, any which way.

A slightly more real-life situation : Your friend thinks he "needs" to smoke because it helps him to concentrate or look cool or be successful in what he does. If you think logically, this justification is either an excuse for smoking or in any case is more about getting a confidence boost than a choice of lifestyle.
If you think it does not affect you in any way, fine leave him with his own choice. But if you think it also affects you, either as a passive smoker, as a spouse or as anyone with some stake in his life and heart, you ought to take a hard stand and call his bluff. This one is not about deflating his confidence but more about avoiding collective health loss for just another confidence booster.

I would leave it to the readers' judgement to do this in the most amicable manner as possible.


Its only appropriate to finish off with another, although slightly unrelated, filmy recommendation - Watch 'A Wednesday'. Its very interesting, entertaining and worth a watch. I can count at least five different characters with high levels of confidence based on a variety of beliefs but the one worth watching is Naseeruddin Shah. Any more details could spoil it for you. You might need to avoid watching it with your family as there are some choicest of (very well placed) Hindi expletives which might make it a tad bit uncomfortable for you.

Whats new in JT... YJN

I do not recall any other Hindi movie which tackles positive illusions as a choice of life, the way its portrayed in Jaane Tu... Ya Jaane Na. Its worth noticing because I think its a very pervasive aspect of every one's life but very rarely brought out in the open, except in extreme cases.

If you have already seen the movie, I am talking about the character of Meghna, Imraan's temporary girl friend. If you haven't, the girl is living in denial of the fact that her parents are actually quite at war with each other. Despite all that happens around her, she chooses to stick to her imaginary happy world where there is romance in everything, just like between her parents.

There are other characters in the movie who have other positive illusions like Ratna Pathak's and her denial of any form of violence in the world especially her son's life which also lead her to have illusions of her dead husband. Interestingly, characters which are most in touch with reality are negative in shade like Paresh Rawal (he knew Imraan had a violent streak to him by his eyes) Aditi's temporary fiance (he was never fooled that Genelia and Imraan were not just friends)
However, I'll stick to Meghna's case because she is the one I would have liked to walk up to and force open her eyes to reality.

She is very much like so many people we know who have chosen to believe what they would like to.
Like every mother believes her son/daughter is the best because she wants him/her to be.
Like almost everyone thinks that theirs is the greatest, noblest community/caste/religion and yet somehow society in general is always tending to reach new moral lows.
Like most women assert that men in general are all "characterless" , except their own boyfriend/husband and their father, their brothers and oh all those uncles. But that particular uncle is definitely on the loose side of a dress called character, just like "all men".


Then there are people who think they've seen it all and done it all and would like to guide you on the simplest of matters. Somehow, they manage to convince themselves that everyone besides them had either appeared on earth as adults or have just come out of a life long confinement, devoid of any experience in life.


Coming back to Meghna, fact of the matter is , she has simply chosen in favour of Optimism except that in her case the alternative was not pessimism but reality. So she either sees what her world actually is, which has crashed beyond her most pessimist expectations, or conjures up a better one. Put this way, the protagonist and the viewer realise that she's not mad. Just unfortunate and knowingly so. And so we decide to leave her in her bliss. This, has been hard for me to do in life.

As I googled out (yes, henceforth don't try and take credit by saying "found out". Everyone knows how you "found out"), there have been researches to suggest that a bitter truth does not always make the best medicine.

I have another character from another recent movie - Kismat Konnection - to highlight this fact.

.... Will continue on this later.